20.09.20
With a mind of mine I go back to a starting point a bit more than a week ago. Between lovely chats with people surrounding our lovely team and in our flat us packing our stuff before leaving to Prague once I was told I have a bit different limits. At first, I guess I did not really understood what could that mean yet it flew out of my mind fast as we (three As) were discussing what to put in our luggage, how to pack it for it to survive the trip and so on. And everything went just right at the beginning I must say (not counting the fact that that mirror from my room simply flew down the cabinet without a reason and decided to break).
Anyway, two hours in a bus is not a big deal same as a little bit of metro and a short walk finding our hotel. It was a very beautiful place in a middle of old town very close to the main square. Rooms and working spaces both outside and inside were cosy and light and it would be quite hard to say it is the centre of this huge capital city. And I would not be me if by my silly head I am not creating problems for myself on my own like forgetting the key inside the room with the doors locking itself right after closing them. But this we waved with the laugh and solved very fast.
Then the whole team of participants gathered. I was surprised and quite a bit shocked seeing only ten participants including me, two guests for few days and two trainers. After projects with 60 people or at least 36 the one with 25 seemed very small for me already. And there was half of it… But I must admit very strong one. Each of participants was with their own life stories, own passions, goals and totally different current projects we are volunteering in. It was a bliss as everyone could fully express oneself and so we shared and spoke and discussed and worked all together and separately. Our lovely trainers Bara and Lucie not only shared so much interesting things about Czech Republic, culture, people, history, traditions and food yet also shined for us with the best possible vibe motivating to take everything what is the best from our opportunities staying in this country. We discussed about stereotypes, people, introduced our projects and got to know each other and Prague through lovely chats while walks in old town streets and nearby the river. We shared our passions like working with our own mind, juggling, philosophy and a bit of sign language. We had daily Czech language lessons during which we were breaking our tongs to unusual sound that we do not have in our countries. We celebrated Adam’s birthday with songs and a gift from me and Alma, with dances in the middle of the night with Italian or Spanish songs or Gotye and Stromae and everything was Belgium (even Freddy Mercury was born there for us and Italy was its colony (inside jokes. Long story.)). We supported each other in languages when missing words like “chicken” or “hen” and spoke in all languages of ours or the ones that are close and everyone understood everybody.
Through all these beautiful things there also where some challenges. And by some, I mean in the end I would count a lot but that is not a point. It started with my dear Adam getting sick and I could not leave him alone in the room feeling not well. Whenever I could I was bringing him food or drinks, or materials from workshops, or just went there to annoy him just to make sure he still is not in his worst. I felt myself starting to like sport as I been running stairs up and down to the 4th floor quite often because of that. And then Alma was not feeling good for one day too what hit me, and I could not leave her there alone two. They are my teammates and family for a hear and take care of me every day sins the beginning of the project and I simply felt real bad seeing them like this. And as I could not help somehow for real, I tried at least to lift their mood by reporting what is happening during workshops or bringing snacks or simply checking on them as I am sure everybody would do the same. They even called me “Uber Eats” and asked to stay strong as else way (joked) we all three will not have who would bring us food. In a workshop room with such a small team to lose two participants it really felt like a big loss and somebody even joked that it is not a training course any more yet a “death camp” already and that the next day probably I or somebody else will get sick too.
Unfortunately, that joke was not so bad but at the bad moment. The next day as I was standing there with my “Free hugs” t-shirts and been sharing my traditional bracelets of Lithuanian flag we founded out that one trainer got positive result in COVID test what mean we might get it too as we all have been in very close contact all this time. I’m not sure have I ever before seen people so calm by the body yet shocked and quite a bit in fear by the eyes. Or maybe it just seemed for me… We started packing things and waited for the info updates what shall we do. I tried joking and hold myself not panicking yet. I could not let myself as I knew first needing to take care of our team to be ready to go home or to the hospital for Adam if needed. I do not know how but I managed to pack my stuff in something like 5 minutes. Then we packed Adam’s things and, while other were leaving every on their own way, me and Adam with a help got our things fixed and left for the hospital. I did not allow myself to fully understand the situation and I could not let myself to get us lost on our way there as it would be painful for my colleague (even if I am very bad with maps and metro). We managed to get there and even after being misleaded we found the right place we had to be. It was messy, with long waiting and at first results were not the ones to lift the mood out of this chaos. Each step of our journey that first day more and more things were happening and mostly not the pleasant ones and I can almost assure I have never been in more stress in my life with all the problems in the situation itself and around it, and from my inside. I am pretty sure I managed to hold strong only because of how everyone in our On-Arrival team were supporting each other, also by how much support and help we shared in our A.I.M. team. I got even a call from National Agency and lost of messages from people I knew or not so much. I rarely get this many notifications that even my phone could not hold it together for some time and made it even worse. Above all these I think the final thing that broke me totally was possibility that my colleague will not be able to continue our volunteering project. That moment everything could not fit in my head and in my heart anymore. I got sick myself and was so worried that it might be already the symptoms of the COVID-19. It felt like us being to bombs ready to explode no one knows when while we been going and going and going from one place we needed to the other.
Luckily, between all this mess we started having and some rays of sunshine. I think I have never seen Adam happier than when in the hospital next day we got totally different results and diagnosis and we came to the idea that he might be able to continue our volunteering project. Then second to second, we made to the bus to go home, we managed to carry all our stuff and reached home finally. And the next day got tested and got the results negative. I guess I have never felt this much exhausted yet happy than in that moment. And getting to know that no one else from our On-Arrival training team except the first one got tests for the virus positive each day lifted my mood as well as seeing Adam getting better and myself recovering bit by bit.
There are so many more things of these few days but that simply would not fit in this article. So much I believe was going on not only in head and heart of mine yet also of every other person connected to this even and its ending situation that we all had. At this point after everything is slowly starting to get to usual, I already see how much I have learnt about people around me and myself in this chaos and how much I have learnt about my limits. About limits that have been described as “different” right before everything started. Who could have guessed that these will be tested so strong in a way just to prove me these words being right as I did not understood at first…
Anyway, that week was a hug chaos to show us some miracles, to teach us some important things (for each of us different) and to remind us to cherish our teammates and our time together. It is a pity I could not hug all the participants and trainers when leaving and that now for a while we hide behind masks and behind door of our rooms. It takes time to recover.
But all going to be fine.
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