From the very beginning of this project of my volunteering, I knew it will not be easy. And indeed there are ups and downs as in a huge rollercoaster that I have not yet ridden before. And in both ways of the extreme moments (when we are extremely stressed or when extremely happy), I learn. And each time I feel some kind of connection.
It starts with everything all around me as I observe it all.
Some kind of connections comes when I see children running through the playground. Or when I spot an old wise lady carrying her little bag of groceries. Or when I pass a lovely couple walking and holding hands. Or when I meet somebody rushing somewhere and I can see in their eyes they are already busy solving problems. Or when I see somebody else walking slowly with their eyes wandering far far away into the world of dreams. Each day and everywhere I see strangers. And question myself what do I think their lives look like. What are they fighting for? What are they grateful for? What makes each one of them happy? Where are they going? What do they dream about?
Thousands of these stories unknown for me makes me connected with this town and with the places around. Every morning I wonder how hills still stand still holding the sky, why pebbles tend to hop into your shoe more likely when you rush somewhere or with what colour palette the sun will set down today. During our walks or hikes, I keep on guessing what songs do trees sing when the wind ruffles through their branches, how old are those huge rock covered with moss and how many people now look at the same star that I am looking in the evening.
I feel this all being a bliss it does not matter whether I am in doubts, stress, never-ending joy or combination of all of that. I learn from students that we teach, from how lively they can be sometimes exploring the world around them but at the same time how bored and lacking each other when we all are locked in our houses, rooms while waiting for quarantine to end. It is my pleasure to learn from my colleagues from schools, seeing their different methods and activities with kids. And I feel simply blessed with our organisation members, every each unique with their skills and so kind! And from Alma next room to mine, when we can already understand each other without words or when finishing each other sentences when we miss some kind of word in English. Now I see those specific things may happen always when you least expect it or when not even believe it possible to happen. We got sick but that is okay because we have people around us and I sometimes have no words for how thankful I am, for how thankful we with Alma are for our friends - our organisation members and friends from school.
I feel connected to my family more than ever even if I am nearly 1000 km away. And every video call I feel like for a moment I would be there near all of them, in my room or in a kitchen “spilling tea” and joking from random things happening for me there in Czech republic or for them far away in Lithuania. I am more than grateful to know that none of them is sick for the moment (I must admit waiting for the results to find out from them was not easy).
And then above all of these, I feel new connecting with myself. Solitude, even if quite rare in our routine as volunteers, happened to be now a gift reflecting and evaluating. All the new skills that I founded out having brings joy and motivation to learn more.
I watched a very nice movie from my childhood the other day. It is called “Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron” and I always cry watching it. And there is a quote that I felt suiting perfectly our current situation. “Spirit who could not be broken...” and so I see so many of such people with strong spirits around us. And they for sure, with all that is in them, are unbreakable.
I knew it is not gonna be easy. But I also know that it iis for sure going to be worthy
Best wishes, hugs and kisses
Aušra
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